A Parent’s Tips: Students Need Your Support
Well, here is some Providence College trivia for you. Did you know that there were two Brian Shanleys in the class of 1980? Of course, one went on to become our president. The “other” Brian Shanley lives in Newport, R.I., with his wife Susan Walsh ’79. Their son Peter is currently a sophomore at PC. I recently asked Brian to reflect on his son’s first year experience to provide some tips for new parents. Here’s what he shared:
There’s an old college axiom which reads, “What’s the job of a freshman? Become a sophomore.”
Sounds simple, but it is not always easy. A lot goes on as the first semester of college moves along. Besides the excitement of new experiences and developing friendships, there also can be anxiety, loneliness, and feeling overwhelmed. College always looks great on television and through social media. And how many times have we all heard, “College will be the best time of your life?” Expectations can overshadow reality and lead to a sense of disappointment. Helping your child keep a sense of perspective, humor, and self are important during those first few months.
So how do we as parents help? Some tips:
- Set up a weekly day/time to “speak” with your child. Text and emails don’t cut it. A soothing voice, a story from home, brothers/sisters and pets can all help. These check-ins bring a sense of regularity to an often out-of-balance schedule. I advise no more than twice a week. Students need to learn/know they can make it on their own without speaking with their parents daily.
- Help students by supporting them without “doing for them.” They are now in a safe place with quality people, programs, and resources to assist them on their independence journey. Students need to begin to learn how to advocate for themselves and use their own voice to see what it sounds like and how it is received.
- A small, old-school letter in the mail can help wipe out an entire bad week.
- Talk to them about their classes and ask about workloads and study habits. They are there for an education, and so developing good academic work habits is a key to lessening the stress and achieving results.
We all know that each year brings highs and lows. College is no different. Dealing with the issues is the key to the growth and maturity of our children. Enjoy the journey!
Brian is currently an administrator in the Office of Admissions at Salve Regina University, in Newport, RI. He is also a member of the Providence College Parent Program Advisory Team.
